Following on from the theme of my last post, I can safely say sales are the life blood of an organisation. Whatever its size, an organisation must sell in order to survive and the primary responsibility of its directors is to deliver growth and increased wealth to the shareholders. Shareholder return is delivered through dividend payments (from profit) and, more importantly, through an increase in share value.
It is the market that sets a company’s share value and the price is determined not only by profit, but also by confidence. It is not unknown for the share value of a company to increase even when they are making a loss. The reason for this is predictability – the directors achieve what they say they are going to achieve.
When predictability is so highly valued, making more money than forecast may be perceived as being as bad as not reaching stated targets. Companies often increase their forecasts if they are having a better year than expected because they don’t want their year-end figures to be higher than predicted. Conversely, organisations also downgrade their forecasts if things are not going as well as expected. Basically, the directors of the company need to demonstrate that they are in control. This is no different to sales people: they must also demonstrate control over their forecasts.
Each month and, more importantly, towards the end of the quarter, the sales professional puts forward his or her best guess as to where he or she will be in relation to their target when the quarter ends. As part of this prediction they may well also name one or two deals that they believe are crucial to them. These are often, if not always, the largest deals they have.
The data is then taken from the corporate pipeline and fed to the sales manager, who will manipulate it and feed it to the sales director or VP of sales. In turn, the head of sales will manipulate it further and feed the data, as a forecast, to the CFO and CEO. Even for a bad looking quarter, thanks to a chain of manipulation and wishful thinking, the figures at this stage will appear less grim than they really are. This allows the VP of sales to explain that with a fair wind they should just be able to turn it around and make the number.
However, when the quarter’s number is not made they can fall back on the fact that they said it was going to be tough and needed a fair wind. Hence the forecasting becomes difficult. The psychology of what’s happening is simple. People want to keep their jobs and believe that admitting that they’ll miss their quarterly target is not the best way to do that. It therefore makes the whole forecasting proposition difficult and the responsibility is taken away from the sales rep and put firmly in the hands of the managers – this is wrong. Sales reps must learn to live or die by their forecasts and once they have learnt how to do this, and the managers have learnt not to fiddle, then forecast accuracy increases and by definition more deals begin to close.
I just quit a job running the operational side of a friends espresso machine repair business, and through odd circumstances I interviewed at a company called Teledynamics. I was dating a girl that worked there along with her housemate. They suggested I interview for a job selling toll free numbers for Pacific Bell. The 888’s had just come out and they were offering boutique numbers (888 fixteeth, and 888 carsales etc…).
I walked into the office with them one morning and was ushered up the stairs to a loft over the main sales floor. Sales floor meaning boiler room with an old fashion push button phone and hundreds of file cards with D&B information littered across the tops of twenty desks in a room that was made to two. I had to weave through the chairs to make it to the stairs and if anyone had backed up, I would have been clipped in the thigh.
When I got to the top of the staircase, a man I could only compare in resemblence to Lord Farquaad from Shrek was siiting behind a desk that swallowed him whole. He was sitting in a chair that raised him high in the air, and when I sat in the one he motioned too, I was now one foot his junior.
“So, —— tells me you want a job? Do you have any sales experience?”
I did not, so I was nervous. I leaned forward to answer and set my hand on his desk.
“Do not EVER TOUCH MY DESK!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. I jumped back startled, but the rest of the people in the upstairs office did not stop what they were doing. I should have taken this as a sign to flee. Instead I aplogized and started to respond to his question. He was breathing heavily and raised a finger for me to be silent. He reached down, nearly falling from his chair and opened his desk drawer. He pulled out a huge pill bottle and quickly opened it, downing a couple and then drinking from a bottle of water on his desk. Instantly he was calmer, long before the pills could have started to take effect.
“Oh, I am sorry. Do you take Prozac? Do you want one, they help me focus.”
I can not tell you anything else, but that I really needed a job, and the interview continued. I was offered and I took the job. I worked there for a year, ended up selling long distance, then went into a brokership with a carrier on my own. I was my bosses best producer after three weeks and he never screamed at me again.
31. David Brotman, FAIA
Two partners and I were being interviewed for an Architectural Commission to Design a Las Vegas Hotel & Casino on the Strip. As part of the presentation, I performed magic tricks and tied them into the story we were telling the client about what we were going to do. We made the point that that the venue was all about entertainment and the magic subliminally underscored that fact. PS. We got the job.
32. Charlene Thompson-Nagel
I was interviewing in retail at the time. The candidate came into my office, I greeted him, got ready to start the interview. He started to look around and asked to see God and he would only speak to God. I quickly rang for security. They escorted him out of the HR area, but he went up to the sales floor and proceeded to break many bottles in the fragrance dept. Needless to say, the police had to take him away.
33. Dave Soteros
Years ago when I was working in a IT staffing office a young man called in and asked me for a job stating his only attribute was that he had a photographic memory.
I paused and then suggested he may want to call CSIS. (Canadian equivalent to the CIA)
To this day I’ve not seen “photographic memory” as a qualification for any job and if someone knows of one I’d like to hear about it.
34. John Shulansky
I was invited for a third interview for a senior officer position at a major financial services firm. I arrived a few minutes early and parked in the private executive garage as instructed. The door into the building was locked and I had a hard time getting security to remotely open the door. As I was pulling and struggling, the door suddenly buzzed open and the door handle went directly into my suit pants pocket. Caught suddenly off balance, I nearly fell and tore my suit pants wide open from waist to mid-thigh. With all hope modesty completely lost, I decided to simply present myself at the CEOs office, explain my situation and see where it went. It was a very interesting and rigorous day, totally embarrassing, very disconcerting, and needless to say, I didn’t get the position.
35. Keith Maher
A friend of mine actually did this recently through a bout of nerves in a phonecall to a recruitment consultancy.
“Hello Can I speak to Diane Brown Please”?
“Will she know what it is regarding”?
“I’m a stalker”
Click…….
36. Vito Delre
We were interviewing a candidate for a support position and he made us a aware that he was out for over a year. So I asked him what he’s been doing to keep himself busy. Since this was a technical postion, I would expected and answer like “I’ve been playing with a variety of OS and applications trying to keep up with the technology”…or something to that affect. But instead he answered, “Oh, I’ve been riding my bike”. OOOKKKKKKK…so as we ended the interview and should hands, for some reason I looked at the ground. To my surprise, he was wearing white gym shoes with his suit…..and they were not clean.
37. Mary Stewart McGovern
I was called on by a contact to interview as an executive recruiter with her firm. Keep in mind, I hadn’t heard from her in over 10 months.
At the time she called, I:
* had 15 years experience as an accountant
* had ZERO years experience as a recruiter
* was 8 months pregnant
She insisted I would make an ideal recruiter for accountants and that none of this mattered. Too bad she didn’t really go over the “being pregnant” part with her manager. The look on his face was *priceless*! However, he agreed to conduct the interview and I guess I must have won him over. The next day, I was made an offer to start immediately.
And that, folks, is how I left accounting and became an executive recruiter specializing in placing accountants and finance executives!
(Of course, I ended up leaving and starting my own firm last August. And that’s a totally different story that I won’t bore you with today. )
38. Gene Russell
As the interviewer I like picking out the obvious “overstatements” on the resume and drilling down to what the actual job, accomplishment, or “strategic initiative” really boiled down to. These usually produce the funniest moments . . . . . .at least for me. The best candidates usually have a real answer peppered with humor. The worst candidates seem to be looking for the exit while attempting to move their lips as best they can. One candidate comes to mind a few years back when the Internet was …… well special. The resume stated some type of super fantastic strategic web intiative which drove X gazillion more dollars in sales and profits. An absolutely fantastic result soley based upon the intellect and capability of the candidate. After drilling down for a few minutes, it turns out the candidate had hired someone to do a web page. . . single page . . . . for his company. Moral of the story: Ask a lot of simple detailed questions in plain English and see what you get. – Regards!
40. Chad Sickels
Not hilarious by any means, but I did recently interview a guy that was EXACTLY like the Milton character in Office Space. I almost asked him if he ever lost a stapler.
Speech, appearance, mannerisms, EVERYTHING was like Milton.
41. and 42.Andrew Meyer
Two situations.
41) During the tech boom in the 90’s, we were interviewing programmers. This woman came in with a fantastic resume, it was too good to be true. So I started off asking her about her C++ experience.
“Oh yea,” she replied. “I do the C++”.
So then I asked her what other languages she codes in.
“Coding, what’s that?”
42) Interviewing a project manager in South Africa. We were doing a panel interview of this very polite and attractive young woman for a junior program manager position. So the one guy on the panel says:
“You need me to finish this one activity, but I’m lazy, lazy, lazy and I’m unmotivated. How are you going to get me to do this?”
Well she starts off with the usual babble “Well, I’d explain how important it is, blah blah blah.”
Well, he cuts her off, saying:
“No, you don’t understand, I’m laaaaa-zyyyy.”
She took one look at him and stated flatly:
“Then I’ll take you out back and kick your ass.”
She got the job!
43. Ethan OToole
My first real job interview, while I was attending college was for a pager alpha-text dispatch serivce. They act like the office for doctors and other businesses, by means of call forwarding.
There was a typing test and requirement of 40 WPM. I was very nervous, but a computer geek that had been using quite a bit of IRC, and old but stable messaging/chat system from the early days of the internet.
I had to use a real typewriter, which was a bit new. I had to type from a page, which also was new to me. The lady asked me if I had taken a test before, and all I could reference was a program on a computer once, that I think said around 45 WPM.
So I’m off. I’m pounding away, beating the physical ability of the machine to lay down the text. I was mostly in the buffer, correcting mistakes before it hit paper. One lady working near me kept cutting her eyes at me, and it made me a bit more uncomfortable. When I was done, she counted the words, and came back and said “You had 3 mistakes. That brings you down to… 82 words per minute. Did you ever take a typing class?” “No” “We employ a good number of people who are professional secretaries, and many of them cannot match that speed.” I didn’t know what to say. I got the job though. The skill still comes in handy, for instance, for this long post. But I’ve definitly slowed down a little over the years.
44. Carolyn Nguyen
My interview wasn’t “funny” so to speak….
I went in for an interview in San Francisco and I had to use the restroom upon arrival. I looked in the toilet and not only was the toilet seat up, but there were $— stains all over (even on the opposite side of the lid). It was disgusting. To make matters even scarier, I went to the sink to wash my hands and saw a men’s travel toiletry bag next to me that was open. There was a sexual product that was used as a lubricant (Almost like KY Jelly but with a nice marketing name!). I went in for my interview and afterwards, I found out that the studio was actually one of the co-founder’s home (he lived up stairs and the studio was downstairs).
I couldn’t bear thinking of working there because all I could think of was “$— stains and $ex” every time I would have to interact with him.
45. Edwin MH 玟成 Ding 陈
This is not an actual interview, but it about funny job interview which I read it from somewhere. It goes like this:
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years — say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
46. Alexandra Watkins
One of my very first job interviews 20+ years ago was for a position writing copy for the slick men’s fashion catalog, International Male. They decided to test me right there on the spot and had a team of male models clad in skimpy underwear parade in the room, where they proceeded to tell me about the various features and benefits of “The Contour Italian Cutaway Bikini Brief” and “Micro-fiber Low-rise Thong.” The other highlight of the interview was when the interviewer asked me to show him what work I had done – which wasn’t much. However, as luck would have it, the one clever direct mail package I had ever written in my short career was actually sitting on his in box right in front of me, having arrive in that day’s mail! I just picked it up and handed it to him. I didn’t get the job or actually even want it after I discovered I had absolutely no talent for writing about clothing and to this day it’s the one thing I can not write about. Semi-conductors, yes. Tighty whitey thongs, no.
47. Nicola Dyer
Many years ago I was working as a recruiter in an agency and fairly new to the job. One day a lady came and asked if I would consider interviewing her daughter with a view to temporary assignments in the area. I was curious as to why she hadn’t come in herself, but apparently she was too shy to visit with an enquiry but would be okay to attend a pre-arranged interview.
The interview started fairly well and she seemed like quite a nice young lady until after a few minutes I noticed she was rocking back and forth very slightly. I decided to ignore this thinking it was probably just interview nerves and moved on to why she had left her previous job. At this point the rocking became more pronounced as she explained “they had it in for me, they all hated me, I was sacked”. It was at the point she fixed me with a stare and stated “and the fire wasn’t even my fault!” I decided ..well..maybe not.
On another occasion when I was being interviewed – the interviewer said to me “Tell me the one thing about yourself you wouldn’t want me to know”. I was hardly likely to tell him so just made something up.
48. Mary Beth Colucci
I was the Interviewer.The candidate was interviewing for an entry level position in product management for a company that sold classic TV shows on vide.I noticed the candidate could recite lines verbatum from old TV shows. I asked if she knew the words to theme songs and she went through a repetoire of TV show tunes from the 1950s, 60’s and 70’s. I proceeded to grab co-workers in to enjoy the show. Needless to say – she got the job.
49. Katherine O’Hara
I was interviewing in lower Manhattan. Minutes before leaving work to rush to the meeting, I was asked for a last minute rush need. Being several minutes behind schedule – I ran to the subway – then ran a few blocks to the interview. I was lead to an office where the owner came in and asked me to please give her a brief overview of my background. Within seconds, it was clear that I was in the midst of an asthma attack. Hacking. Wheezing. Tearing. A staff member ran in with a glass of juice. Took about 5 minutes for me to get it under control. In an attempt to ease the tension, I turned to the interviewer, and with a raspy asthma induced voice I said “so, how are your medical benefits?”. She stared at me with a blank face. Interview ended about 10 seconds later.
I was interviewing cadidates for an IT security analyst in a face paced oil and gas industry. My boss at the time reviewed all the CV’s and selected 6 candidates for me to meet with. All went well till the last one. The very large Gentleman turned up in biker leathers and proceeded to tell me how he could subdue up to 4 people at a time and no one broke in on his watch. Very handy as he didnt know anything about computers. In his words “But security is security”.
51. Elizabeth Ball
The worst and funniest interview experience I’ve ever had was when I was straight out of uni. In those days I didn’t yet own a mobile phone and discovered I was going to be late, thanks to a crash on the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It got worse when I couldn’t find a car spot close to the office building, and had to park it several streets away.
I am no athlete, but began to ran and quickly noticed that I was very unsteady on my feet. Worried that I’d break my ankle or something, I stopped running. And still felt unsteady.
Then I looked down at my shoes and I was wearing one black suede high heel and one black leather low court shoe.
When I got finally got into the interview room, I spent more time desperately trying to curl my feet under the chair so she wouldn’t see the mis-matching shoes than concentrating calmly on the questions and the best answers to give in return.
So when she asked me: “What are you like under pressure?” I answered honestly, “I get pretty flustered!” which was not what she wanted to hear.
52. Kris Guimond
The most amusing interview I had was when I went to interview with this company that had just put in these automated lights that would turn off when noone was in the room and back one when someone entered. Well…apparently they didn’t have all the bugs worked out of the system yet and during the entire interview, the lights would keep going off and the interviewer would have to get up and walk around to make them go on again. He must have apologized a dozen times for the lights causing so many problems! Needless to say I was quite amused by the whole thing and I ended up getting the job.
53. Kevin Jackson
I interviewed with a company, and was asked to meet at their facility. When I was called into the room, there was an obvious odor of liquor. I said to the interviewer, “I guess I am not getting the job, since you have obviously celebrated with the preceding candidate!” We had a good laugh, and I eventually got the job.
I found out later that the preceding candidate, though highly qualified, had lost his wife and child in an automobile accident earlier that year, and he was still finding relief from his pain, in alcohol. Tragic story.
54. Joshua Kleeberger
yeah my name is Josh Kleeberger. Keep that in mind it comes in to play later. I introduce myself to the interviewr who was one of 14 kids from a small iowa radio station. he came to the school i was about to graduate from. after introducing my self he looks at the resume and looks up at me and goes you didn’t change your name for this job at KLEE.
I said no of course
55. Andrey Dorokhov
I used to a lot of different questions during interviews and usually expect a standard ones:
Name three (four, five) your best qualities
Name three (four, five) your not strong qualities
Bust here, interviewer surprised me saying: “if you would call your wife now, and ask her about you, to name your best qualities from her point of view, what do you think her answers would be?”
56. Elliot Geno
I was asked by an interviewer “how many soccer balls existed in the U.S.?”
I don’t play soccer and the position I was interviewing for was a Flash Programmer.
I said that I didn’t know, and he asked “how would you find out?” I said I would probably contact the soccer ball manufacturers to see if they had some data. He asked “what if they didn’t have that data?” I told him that I would set up a survey that questioned a good sample of the U.S. and ask how many soccer balls do you currently own and how many have you thrown away in the past 10 years. That way you would know roughly how many soccer balls existed in landfills, which he didn’t specify.
That same topic went on for at least 20 minutes.
I got the job. But as funny as it was it taught me a really important lesson. Don’t be thrown by even the craziest questions in an interview. I learned later on that I was the only one that actually answered the question. He liked the fact that I would keep persisting and find clever ways of finding an answer if I didn’t know. Since then, I have had to help with several interviews, and sometimes I ask the same question. Only I preface it with that story, because I think some get annoyed with a question like that.
-Elliot
57. Martin Czebotar
Having the prespective employer call your previous company “the evil empire”.
58. William Gunn
I was about 60 days away from graduating from college before I had my first interview. I was interviewing for a position as a pharmaceutical sales rep with one of the largest drug companies in the world at that time. And I was desperately trying to hide my nervousness.
The interviewer was a short, quiet, but pleasant man. Everything was progressing right along just like in Interviews-401. Right up to the point where the man stopped talking and his head slumped slightly to his chest.
Total silence. My nervousness has now been replaced by fear. “What is going on?” ran through my mind.
In about 90 seconds (which seemed more like 90 minutes), the man sat up with a start, a gasp, and an apology. It seems he had been struggling with narcolepsy for several months and his medication was not balanced yet.
No, I did not get a second interview.
So I know this is a shameless, “check out my blog” marketing ploy, but, well I want people to come and join me. The winner of this gets a best answer on linked in, and number 2-5 get a good one. Just comment on this blog with the number you are voting for. Keep in mind there are two parts. So here goes:
I had to break this into two sections (there were 59 responses that I could use).
So I will share my funniest interview experiences one at a time as well (Mine do not count, so please do not vote for me.)
I was about 23 years old and had just worked in a boiler room selling toll free numbers (that interview is coming tomorrow). I was broke and really needed a job, the roommate was about to give me the boot. I had probably eaten more of his food than he had, considering I was home all day. I opened the paper, yes monster was not that big yet, and saw a job:
“Great sales opportunity, train for executive success. Blah…blah…blah…”
I called the number and a lively female voice answered the phone. She told me there was an interview opening at 8am the next day. I was jazzed, and did not even consider that she did no phone screening.
The next day I entered a small office lobby. It had a table and magazines, and was much like a waiting room for the dentist. Well, an attractive woman in a business suit came out and led me into the office. She began asking me questions about sales. My experience, methods of closing, and some very general questions about my career goals. Then out of the blue she asked me if I had a car. I said yes. Suddenly a side door burst in and a guy about 6′7″, with long curly hair, in a really nice suit, storms into the room.
“OK, you ready to go?” he asks me.
I am dumbfounded, but really want a job, so I stand up nodding and follow him through the door. We enter a garage like room, wall to wall, with cheaply framed pictures.
“Grab these,” he yells, and walks over to a stack the pictures, “like this!”
He takes one between each finger and lifts four to a hand. I struggle to do the same and can only get three in each hand. He is shaking his head in disapproval as we walk out the side door. He stops at a new BMW, we get the pictures in the trunk and off we go.
We drive in silence for a couple of miles, and I so utterly confused at this point, I decide to not try and make small talk. We pull up to a medical complex, and he hops out.
“C’mon, and grab three of those.”
“Which three?” I ask.
“Doesn’t matter.”
I practically had to run to catch up with him. We walk in the front door and right through the waiting room of a busy doctor’s office. He snatches the pictures from me and sets them down by the nurses station.
“Ladies,” his tone has turned to honey, “My partner and I were decorating an office in the complex and we had these prints left over. I normally charge $35-40 a piece for them, but you can have any one for $20.”
He sold all three, and the other eleven in the back in less than an hour. He made a point of counting the cash in front of me, over and over again. When we got back to the car he handed me $40.
“You get $5 for everyone you sell. You want a job or what?”
I worked for him for about a month, selling 15-20 a day. I quit because my friends teased me, and well they had a right. I would be lying if I said it was not fun while it lasted.
1. Jamie Vernon
I was interviewing for a job in Reston, VA. The firm took me to lunch at a place that offered you free pool as long as you were eating. The two guys that were with me were joking, said that they really didn’t need any more techs, but that they were looking for a ringer for their inter-office pool team and that -this- was my real interview.
I then made the shot of my life – wouldn’t have been able to do it on purpose in a million years – and sent the cue ball off 4 banks to sink the 8 ball for the win. I looked at them as calmly as I could and said ‘Do I get the job?’
The interviewer who was watching the game while eating spit his drink everywhere laughing; the guy I just beat just stood there…I got offered the job…
2. Tajana Surlan-Mesic
With a number of HR professionals nowdays focusing on situational interviewing, a friend of mine has rehashed all the various scenarios that she might be asked: “How would you act in a situation where you had to do work for someone else who is slacking off? How do you act if you are under deadline pressure?”, etc. She was NOT prepared for what came next. The interviewing pannel asked her what animal she would like to be if she joined their organization? Not only was she taken aback, but found it really funny. The inteviewing pannel in business suits, straight-faced, asking such a funny question. She’d like to be a zebra, she said, keeping a straight face.
3. Ian McGonnigal
I was interviewing candidates for an administrator job for a major corporation. One of the candidates came in dressed in an outfit that didn’t quite fit (two sizes too small). When she removed her winter jacket and turned the corner to enter the office, the seam on the left side of her dress gave way revealing a bit too much skin. She put her jacket on and began the interview like nothing happened.
This same candidate had braces and a tongue ring. She could hardly speak with all that oral hardware. As she answered some of the questions, it felt like she was speaking English as a second language because the hardware was interfering with her speech. There was a mechanical clicking noise everytime she tried to pronounce “s” or “sh”. After about 5 minutes of answering questions, her tongue ring got caught in her braces and she had to excuse herself to go to the ladies room to free herself.
The interview ended soon after that – needless to say, she didn;t get the job.
4. Cristina Dima
the funniest was when a travel agency wanted to employ me as manager and offered abt $100/month LOL:)) that was the minimum wage in Romania at that time
5. Max Roesler
About 15 years ago, I had a lunch interview at a restaurant… And you guessed it, two minutes into it my existing boss (who didn’t know I was looking) was seated at the table immediately adjacent ours.
I didn’t get the job. Ironically, I was hired by the same company (unrelated to that interview) about 6 months later, but two levels of management higher; The guy who interviewed me ended up being one of my direct reports. Go figure. Also ironically, I just recently reconnected here on LinkedIn with the head hunter (oops, “recruiting executive”) that set up that first interview.
6. Nick Maselli
My contract with a company in Singapore was nearing an end, so I sent out CV’s to a half-dozen local recruiters and telecom companies.
To my delight, I received an email from the HR of one of the companies telling me to show up for an interview.
I appeared at the appointed time and was lead to a room where a group of managers grilled me for over an hour on my experience, leadership philosophy, and how I would handle hypothetical situations.
They seemed pleased with my responses and asked if I had any questions for them.
“Yes, I do. What position am I interviewing for?”
They were a bit flustered and embarrassed when they learned that not only hadn’t I applied for a specific position, HR hadn’t bothered to tell me what positions were open!
They did make me an offer, though, so the story had a happy ending.
7. Ted Lanes
I was interviewing for the Controller spot for a major US university. The gent who would be my boss was a bit weird and after the usual “why do you want your job questions”, he asked me “if you were a cartoon character, who would you be and why…”. I didn’t realize he was serious until he pulled out a book of New Yorker cartoons, flipped to a few and asked me to interpret them as if I was in the cartoon. I was starting to get annoyed, and my answers showed it. Eventually I said enough, and left even though he wanted to continue. I got the offer anyway.
8. Michael A. Chrepta
Back in 2003, when I used to go to job fairs, it was toward the end of my day and I was exhausted.
The FBI had a table with a long line of people waiting to speak to the recruiter.
I went up to the table, read the “physical requirements”; i.e., need to do x-many pushups and x-many situps in x-amount of time.
I asked the recruiter, “how many donut breaks do I get between the x-many pushups?”.
The recruiter laughed hysterically; said that I made her day; and stated that if I had to ask that, I’m not qualified!
9. Dan Ogden
From a candidate applying for a securities operations position: “I retired from the New York City Police Department after 25 years, which makes me an expert in the securities industry.”
The candidate, a very nice man, called me early in my search career in response to an advertisement in the NY Times under “Wall Street”. I had to explain that “security” and “securities” were two entirely different things.
10. Corby Fine
I was interviewing for an account management position at a global healthcare consulting company. Meeting with the Senior consultant was tough, very analytical, intense personality, focused questions. He asked about consulting processes, MBA level strategy and personal experience. Then came the final question. He leaned in, looked me in the eye and with a most serious voice asked, “How many diapers were sold in Canada last year?”
11. Claire Grove
I stress this was the first job interview I ever went for on leaving education, I promise I have improved!!!
I was extremely nervous, to the point of being petrified, and when I was asked where I had parked – in an obvious attempt to relax me – I replied:
“Oh, in the par cark across the road” …I then apologised for “getting my mords wuddled”.
For those of you who don’t speak lunatic – it’s ‘car park’ and ‘words muddled’
I was extremely surprised to find out I actually got the job and now suspect I must have been the only candidate!!!
12. Jennifer Nolan
As an interviewee for my current position, I had gone out for a lunch interview with two interviewers at a now-defunct local steakhouse.
The conversation was light. It was about ‘96, so they were questioning me on some web experience that I’d had and we were having mostly a good chat as opposed to any major interviewing (that was left for before and after the lunch). I decided to order the chicken, figuring that it was an interview… it was probably one of the less messy things I could order. Less potential for embarrassment.
Well, as the orders arrived, interviewer #1 gets his meal in a teeny-tiny dish with his veggies on the side. Interviewer #2, the same. Tiny dish. Veggie sides. My veggies come. Then I see the waitress bringing over what had to be a half of a pterodactyl on an enormous platter. Thank goodness I was sitting across from them both and could spread out… (sheesh).
Being an interview, I picked at my food (not much appetite), so the waitress boxed it up very nicely for me. Interviewer #1 even dropped me off at my car so I could take it home and not have to cart it around with me for the rest of the interview.
Funny thing is, I got the job, and interviewer #1, who is now a friend of mine, barely even remembered the interview. Mentioning the chicken, though, got me a gasp, wide eyes, and a nice loud, “That was YOU!?”
13. Samantha Murphy
This probably isn’t the kind of interview you’re referring to, but on my radio show, SMtv on iTunes, I was interviewing rock musician Jesse Malin. I was telling him how much I adored this one song on his record and going on and on about how much I loved the lyric and how he just managed to dig so deeply into the soul of the matter. Once I quoted the lyric from the song I was referring to, Jesse informed me it was the only cover song on the album.
14. Alice de Sturler
Hi Karl,
My funniest one was also my worst and that was asked a little while ago but here it is again: “In a job interview my work with Amnesty International came up and was discussed in length. Then the interviewer asked me…”does this mean you are anti-establishment?”
We still laugh about this and of course every time I comment on a situation my husband remarks that he had expected nothing else from someone so anti-establishment!
Cheers, Alice
15. Dean Ditto
I was fresh out of college and interviewing with a few firms, I was suffering from a terrible cold and my sinus infection was producing copious amounts of mucus. As much as I tried to jeep blowing my nose I was in a constant state of being stuffed up and running. During an interview with a very buttoned up insurance firm, I found myself sitting in a room with a manager and we were going through the normal “where so you see yourself in 5 years…” dance. She made a slightly funny comment, and when I snickered at it a large bubble of snot shot from my nose. It didnt burst or land, only took a form similar to a medium size bubble gum bubble. I was horrified and inhaled quickly through my nose, making the bubble disappear and looked past my nose to see a look on the interviews face that I had not and to this day have still not ever seen anywhere else. I did get the offer and the job and actually ended up working for her. We never spoke of it, it was like it never happened….
16. Erik Fretheim
Probably the funniest, and worst, that ever happened to me was when I flew down to Dallas for an all day interview. After the interview, it was off to dinner with the hiring manager and several others. Obviously, my choice from the menu wasn’t too good as towards the end of the meal I had to run off frantically to the restroom, practically climbing over a couple of people on the way. Luckily, I made it – barely, and put my cookies in the cookie receptical. Turns out I was one of several victims of food poisoning that night. Got the job though.
17. Todd Hanle
I was interviewing candidates for a mid-level member of our corporate creative team. This person would serve as the lead designer on a number of different projects of varying scope for some key product lines. The candidate I was meeting with presented himself well, was well-spoken, appropriately dressed, adequately knowledgeable and was supported by a strong portfolio of work experience.
Little did I know that he was saving the best for last.
During the latter part of the interview I opened the discussion up for questions. As expected, he had some very relevant and well constructed questions about the company, the department and the individual role. His final question to me was, “Will I have to present my ideas in front of our internal clients?” My response was, “Of course.” After a moment of pause, he turned to me and said, “Oh. I’m not sure I can’t accept this position. You see, it’s not that I don’t like presenting my work, but when I’m in front of groups of people, I sweat profusely. No, really. I sweat to the point where I’d need to bring a towel to each presentation.”
Fortunately, no towel was necessary as he did not accept the position.
18. Chris Hendricks
I had a fairly large sales staff and often interviewed sales professionals looking for potential new talent. My office was on a corner of a ground floor with mirrored windows outside to allow me some privacy but invariably people would walk by, see the mirrors, and use them to comb hair, apply make-up, and otherwise spot check their appearance. It was always just a little creepy when someone would stop by, and get up real close to the mirrored side. I had a nice gentleman in a great suit make such a visit once and… eeew, he worked over a fresh pimple rather aggressively. 20 minutes later he was sitting in my office interviewing for a position. The best part of the interview was watching him watch other people stop by the mirrors and make their adjustments and see his face as he realized I had likely witnessed the entire thing. And no, he didn’t get the job… but that had more to do with the unfortunate typo on his resume that indicated he had “heavy pubic contact” in his last position….
19. Terry Carlgren
When I was interviewing on-campus with Coopers & Lybrand for my 1st professional job, all the students on campus knew they weren’t hiring but were just interviewing to keep a campus slot for the following year. The manager was just going down a list of pre-prepared canned questions and was reading a document while I was answering (clearly didn’t care what my answer was). So, after the next question, I interrupted him and said “You obviously are not paying attention since you are multi-tasking reading something else. Let’s not waste my time and your time. I have better things to do than be ignored.” He was flustered and couldn’t say anything. As I stood up to walk out, I added, “And don’t waste the paper sending me a reject letter, I wouldn’t open it anyway.” And I have never regretted saying it.
20. Erik Hom
I was interviewing with a partner of the heatlh care strategy group of a major consulting firm. It was a 2nd round interview in a highrise hotel. He ran late and I was waiting forever in a hotel room on a floor that the firm had reserved.
He walks in and apologizes for being late, kicks off his shoes and never introduces himself. He says, “Let’s get to business. You’re Hilary Clinton and I’m Bill. You’ve been lying here in bed waiting for me after just watching my speech on healthcare reform”.
The imagery was so bad I couldn’t concentrate. I told him I had a headache.
21. David W. Forbes
I was the hiring manager and my group was interviewing candidates for a Sr. Technical Writing position. One candidate had good applicable experience and was an internal referral, but he seemed kind of eccentric, even absent-minded to a few of us during the interview. I spent an hour with him and while I thought he could probably do the job, I wondered how he would fit into the group and how he would work with the engineering teams.
We decided to bring him back for a second interview. As we talked and I followed up on a few areas with him, I couldn’t help but notice that he was looking at me in a peculiar way. Finally, I asked him if everything was OK. He said, “I’m sorry if I’m looking at you funny, It’s just that you seem very familiar to me. Have we met before?” I said, “Yes, we met last week to discuss this same position.” and he exclaimed, “That’s it. I knew that we had met.” He did not get the job.
22. Michelle Steinbeck
I was pleased to get an interview in Rochester, NY with a similar industry firm in a consulting business analyst role for their professional services group. I was an attractive candidate I felt for my breadth of experience in the industry.
I flew out from Omaha early in the morning and arrived to interview with two folks and then was taken to lunch by a third. When I returned they said they had some scenarios to go through with me as a practicle exam. They gave me a folder of information on a company, a laptop with software, whiteboard, markers and paper and asked me to analyze the company information and create a presentation with a recommendation …in 30 minutes. So I figured they wanted to see how put together I was an if I would break so I did my best with some power point slides and covered the low hanging fruit. They appreared delighted at my presentation.
Then came the next folder and another 30 minutes. Again same drill with the obvious this time it was a little better because I already had outlines from the previous ‘drill’. Again they appeared delighted.
I was getting a little exhausted and couldn’t believe when the third ‘drill’ was presented. I smiled and asked how many at the company had homework for me to do that day? I was seriously wondering if these were real clients they were trying to get a jump on. I informed them my consulting fee was $250 per hour if they needed some temporary help. They smiled and said just one more. Again same drill.
I didn’t accept the job they offered and I truly believe these were real clients because they sent me an I9 to complete and I received a check for $500 for my work that day.
23. Sean Lee
My story is in regards to a second interview. I had recently graduated college and I was in Japan. I had interviewed at several English speaking schools. With one school in particular I was invited back for a second interview, after a 90 minute train ride to the other end of the prefecture I was met outside the trainstation by the owner of the school. He promplty took me to a tailor and I was fitted for a custom navy blue suit. I was told that I could keep the suit if I took the job or not, I hadn’t even been offered the job yet, the second interview had yet to even start. I ended up not taking the job, for logistical reasons, and I still have the custom silk/wool suit from Japan.
24. Barney Trader
So I was interviewing a candidate last week for an Internal Audit Manager Position at a Fortune 500 company, and I brought a guy in that had one of the best resumes I’d seen in a while. Good transitions and stability. Started out 4 years Big4 yada yada. He comes in wearing eye makeup. Not like a ladies eye makeup, more like Ozzy Ozbourne. He has a suit on that looks like it is from the 70’s as it is green and white plaid. I ask him why he decided to leave Company A for Company B, and he replies, “They had these unrealistic goals for me, as far as time to complete projects, and I was always over budget.” so I am thinking, well maybe it was just some communication issues. Then I asked Why he left Company B for Company C, and he replies, “Well I had a lot of punctuality issues, and they had some policy, if you were late more than 3 times a month, you were automatically terminated.” I asked how late he was, and he tells me no more than 2 or 3 hours each time. I asked why he was so late, and he tells me he is an exotic dancer at Swinging Richards (male strip club) 3 nights a week, and that he sometimes didn’t get in until 6 in the morning and overslept. So I am trying to keep a straight face, and end the interview nicely (being that I would never send him in to any of my clients. I decide to ask him if he knew anyone that he could refer to me that may be good fits for other opportunities that I was representing. And he looks at me, and tells me, “No not really. Everyone usually thinks I am an a*&^hole, until I get fired.” So I tell him, I will keep him in mind. As soon as he left I literally checked the room for hidden cameras. I thought someone was playing a prank on me. Just goes to show 2 things. 1) you can’t judge a candidate by their resume, and 2) You should probably meet all of your candidates in person before they are out at clients representing you.
25and 26. Alan Smith
Two for you:
25) I was about to finish college and had a terrible plane flight. Was supposed to get in at 8pm, got in at 2am. I got to my hotel by 3 and got a few hours sleep before my 8am interview. My interview in the morning was going ok. We went and had a large lunch for one of my interviews. My afternoon interviews came, and in one of them my interviewer had to wake me up. I apologized profusely. The company did end up offering me a job, but I didn’t take it (for completely unrelated reasons.)
26) This actually happened to my wife. They were interviewing a woman in a panel interview and they asked her what her biggest struggle was at her current work. She said, “Getting along with others. For example, I tend to keep taking things too personally and accusing coworkers and managers by reporting them to the ethics office.”
27. Kim Manheck
When I graduated from college (BA in Eng) jobs were scarce. My mother assisted me in my search by highlighting different job opportunities in the newspaper. I scheduled an interview at a local company; I was among about 100 other candidates waiting in the lobby.
Needless to say, I was extremely nervous waiting for my name to be called. Lo and behold, after about an hour of waiting, the hiring manager called me into his office and inquired: “Please tell me about your BA in Engineering….” Well, I almost fell off the chair and retorted without thinking first: “I am going to kill my mother.” “I have a BA in English Education, not Engineering.” He kindly escorted me back to the lobby and I could tell he was having difficulty maintaining a straight face. Obviously, I didn’t receive an offer and I searched for my own jobs in the newspaper afterwards!
28. David Nason
A guy came in for an interview as a senior software developer – I hadn’t yet seen his resume or application since it was not a lead or management position… I heard a couple of people who had already been in their portion of the interview process with the guy, talking about their opinions… one of them mentioned that he had earlier worked for a company with a very similar name to our company. That piqued my curiosity – so I asked to see the resume…
After I picked myself up off the floor and stopped laughing enough to catch my breath, I had to provide the two with a very brief explanation, on my way to put a fast termination to the interview process…
The guy has actually misspelled the name of his previous employment… he had worked for us about 3 years prior… he had worked for me as an indirect report and been fired for performance reasons… the kicker: his resume gave him my position and attributed my software projects to himself.
29. Troy Fenner
I was doing a team interview with a VP of HR for a senior OD director position. The VP had been asked by another VP to interview an executive admin candidate and give his feedback on the candidate.
Long story short the VP got the interviews confused and came in a couple of minutes late for the interview. I had already started the interview when he arrived immediately he starts asking this very senior candidate about her typing skills, would she do personal errands etc.
The look on the candidate’s face was priceless. Credit to her she kept answering his questions until I asked very politely , you do know this ins’t the candidate for the EA position? Well the room went quitet then we all started laughing like crazy.
So if anyone needs a good Sr. OD canddiate with who will do personal errands for you just give me a call.
30. Herman Samson
Many years ago, during an interview in South America the interviewer asked me If a certain well known person was my father. I confirmed this whereupon the interviewer asked me why I did not write this in my letter. Surprised by this question I said I did not think this was relevant. Whereupon he told me the son of the President was applying for the same job, and in his letter had stated 3 times that he was the son of the President.
The other 29 will post tomorrow. Voting will close next Saturday. You can vote as many times as you like, but not for the same on more that twice. I will have IP for comments, and yes I will do the work to make it fair. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I.
It only makes sense that since this blog is new, and my linkedin network is millions, that I received many more submissions to the question on linkedin (something like 60 to 1). I will be posting the responses this weekend and having a vote here. I will then use that vote to give someone a best answer on linkedin. The 2-5th place will get good answers. SO TELL YOUR FRIENDS (I know this is shameless blog marketing, but hey it is fun). Oh, and I will share my two classics on that day as well.
Happy voting!
Older post: Please share with me your most amusing interview experience, whether you were the interviewer or interviewee. Please refrain from stories of too graphic a nature. In the spirit of the request I will share a couple when I re-post the comments listing in a couple of days.
I responded to a question about cold calling and cold e-mailing the other day, and thought I would share it with our readers. The question asked people what you can do to connect with people. The questioner assumed that people hate cold calls and cold e-mails. Here was my reply:
You have received some good answers so far, but I thought I might leap into the foray. There are two parts to this question, and I will ignore cold e-mails, as they almost always get you nowhere.
1. How can I call a perfect stranger and make a connection?
2. What can I do to build a prospect list that does not involve cold calling?
Let us start with cold calling. Most people despise cold calling because the person making the call does not appreciate something I learned in a training long ago. When you call someone THEY ARE BUSY DOING SOMETHING ELSE. Unless you immediately show respect for their time and quickly show value, you are a nuisance! So how do you do this? Frame the call, another tip from another great training.
Example: “Hi, this is Karl from Linkedin Answers, the place to get your questions answered by knowledgeable people. I have two things to discuss with you and it will not take more than five minutes. First, I would like to share with you effective ways to connect with potential clients.”
This worked for me time and time again as I built relationships. The message was always clear, and as I delivered a clear objective l offered list that offered value to prospects, I built a customer base.
NOW WHAT IF I DO NOT WANT TO COLD CALL! This one is so simple, and ironic that you are on LinkedIn asking. NETWORK NETWORK NETWORK. Go to events in your industry, align with like minded professionals, join groups, etc… This is the only way I know of meeting people that does not involve disrupting their day. If someone is at a tradeshow, network event, social site, they are making them-self available to be approached. Be collected, social, and just share who you are.
Try and leave them with something memorable, a quip, anecdote, interesting story. If these things are not natural, then perhaps you can get them talking. Listen and remember! UNLESS THEY KEEP ASKING, GET BUSINESS CARDS AND FOLLOW UP WITH BUSINESS ANOTHER TIME. I hope this helps.