The worst sales pitch ever – $24 million from Belgium

Karl,

I caught three things in the first paragraph and then had to quit. I just cannot do it, it is that bad.

I can’t believe people write this stuff, but it is even worse that someone could get hooked on this lousy pitch.

Will Fultz

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Karl,

Why this is the worst sales pitch: the proposal is so ridiculous I’m having a hard time answering this question seriously; the letter is largely incomprehensible; it is too long for anyone to read in its entirety; the authors didn’t bother with proper grammar and punctuation; it veers away on tangents; should I go on?…

Marina Modlin

OK. This honestly is not the worst sales pitch I’ve ever heard, believe it or not, but it is pretty bad. Bad grammar and ridiculous premise aside (I think you have to set those aside in order to answer the question), I say it is a bad pitch for the following reasons:

1. It spends waaaaaay to much time on “me” (the person writing the letter) and not enough time on “you” (the recipient).

2. There are not enough specifics for me (the reader) to make a good decision…I would want a lot more information before I decided to “buy”.

3. Uses a veiled threat to create a sense of urgency (never a good idea…customers can sniff it out at 300 paces).

4. There isn’t a clear call to action…no specific direction as to what my next step should be.

So…what say you? Do I score points?

Jerry,

All great points and I am in awe that you have seen worse. Please dig it up and send it my way. I will be writing a full in detail breakdown once we get some more comments.

Yes it is ridiculous and unclear. All good points to go along with the horrid writing style. But could I be looking for something else…

Ummmmm…

5. Didn’t ask for the sale?

This is the easist contest of all time and I am looking forward to spending 8 hours with you.

The problem with the sales pitch is that the seller didn’t qualify the buyer. You are Jewish and are therefore not eligible for the money!

Best,

Tim

Ahhhh….Tim, it is a shame you do not need my mentorship, for that was the secret sauce. This letter writer did not qualify if I was Christian. The litany of rhetoric about being saved falls on deaf ears. This beyond every other terrible thing about this letter is the core of the awfulness.

Karl,
I’m not really going to comment on this sales pitch since it is not written by professional sales people but simply has to do with professional scams that try to lure people in responding. If it’s for the money or for some cracking of your computer, I can’t tell. But I can tell you that once you are in contact with these people, they will try to get something.
Besides this Karl, I would appreciate leaving the country ‘Belgium’ out of this story.

kind regards,
Harold

Harold,

I did not put Belgium into the letter. This is not something I wrote. It is an email I received and copied over verbatim. The perpetrators are the ones that claim to be from Belgium. Now, in regards to the rest of your comments, of course this is not a good letter. That was the point of my post and the point of the lesson I put forth. The people that wrote this are professional con artists and must have an audience or they would have quit ages ago. The post was meant to be silly, and in no way did I intend to offend.

Karl

The email is just too ridiculous to comment on… and no one should take it seriously. However, having started to comment I will give you my view as I not only, as do most people, receive such rubbish I also had personal contact with such scammers when I lived in South Africa… which by the way is no where near Belgium.

We had a favourite restaurant that we used to take the family and over the years you get to know the staff… most of which were either from the local black community or immigrants from other countries.

We told our waiter that we were leaving the country and this would be one of our last visits… they were upset and came back with a ‘sorry to see you go’ card. They also said that I may be able to help a friend of theirs import some stuff into the country and wanted to meet up with me before I left – this was back in 1997 before these scams were really widely known about. I agreed to meet this waiter – whom I’ve known for 3 years – and his friend for a coffee in town.

I met up and they told me that their friend had many trucks of goods waiting outside the country to bring in. They are stuck because they can’t pay the import duty. The goods were worth $20million and if I could help them with the duty $10k they will pay me 30% of the value of the goods in return – $6m – apparently as soon as they deliver the goods they will be paid by their customer and then I would receive my money.

My question to them – why pay me so much – it’s too much money. If I lend you $10k for a couple of days and you give me $20k in return I would have thought I got a good deal… but to offer me $6m in return… that’s crazy!

I was targeted because I was leaving the country and that there would be little come back on them when I found out about the scam. The biggest problem I see with all these scams is that they think we are all greedy and will look at the huge amount of money we will be making… hoping greed will overcome our suspicions. There are many flaws in the email, but I think this is the fatal flaw – greed.

When I told the guys that they were offering me far too much money and that I couldn’t possibly help them as I would be embarrassed for taking so much they were genuinely dumbfounded and said I could take less!… no I said your offer has been made and I couldn’t possibly accept.

Since that day I have been offered many opportunities to make millions… perhaps I’m wrong and should invest!

Here is a nigerian scam, for sure, due to the vocabulary and grammar in the letter. They are targeting believers, therefore they focus on religion, they are targeting endured christian persons, that are illuminated by religion to get their money.
The sadness in all that is that probably a weak person might get robbed…

Now that’s a Damsel in Distress, and what makes all you guys think of it as a SPAM!! Karl, give me her details right away… A lady out there needs help… And who cares about Grammar when asking (rather crying out) for help?? C’mon guys, if none of you are taking it seriously, let ME do so!!
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(Just Kidding!!)
Sahil.